The End of Days

Well, it's the end of my required blog writing time for my college class. I hope you all learned a lot from this blog.... Over 3,000 unique foods, over 90,043 film reviews, and the epic 300 episode Squeegurs series all comes to an end now.... Or maybe they don't. I don't know, maybe you'll see the writings of food, film, or Squeegurs, (Probably not Squeegurs cause she's dead... unless they fall into a black hole or something ;) ) again someday.

What I learned was that you; the person reading this post right now, don't actually exist. I highly doubt anyone read this blog so basically this is for my teacher, (Hi Mandalyn) and I to look at. Mostly me cause I can actually make some sense out of these writings. I'll look back at this blog over time to cherish the moments I was optimistic about my writing without having someone over my back changing my vision, which as you can read here, really isn't worth a lot anyway.

If you do for some reason stumble on these stories... I'm sorry... I so, so sorry...........

Squeegurs - Episode 6 Attack of the Lawnmowers of Sexual Desire: The Sequel to Avatar.

Squeegurs was going to moon with Dinosaur and chinese lady landlord. Chinese lady landlord and Squeegurs, inspired by Dinosaur's long feedback segment decided they wanted their own episodes based on their previous lives. The problem is that chinese lady landlord is a 5,000 year old witch doctor and having a flashback episode of her life would kill your eyes if you so chose to read even one sentence of it due to, not only it's preceding length haunting your mind, but it's poor choice of sentence structure and vocabulary choices. If you're really interested in chinese lady landlord's actual life story you can read her very famous autobiography; "The Diary of Anne Frank."

Squeegurs decided that after hearing Chinese lady landlord's first sentence of her poorly sentence structured story that she would throw her out of the spaceship if she kept talking. Because of this threat, Chinese lady landlord shut up and Squeegurs forgot what they were talking about in the first place.

They stared at each other for a very long time... wondering what would happen next...

... then they all blew up and died.

THE END.

Hush! - The Actual Article

Hush was a very interesting experience; it claims to take the 'underground' dining culture into the mainstream. The courses were mostly fish; created from James Mazzio, a chef who recently won the Food and Wine Magazine best upcoming chef award.

While some of the dishes were a tad overcooked such as a still delicious squid ink pasta dish, the standouts were a lamb skewer given out in the beginning, a halibut cooked perfectly with a kobe beef ravioli, and the incredible chocolate torte dessert serves with an odd, sparkling syrah. I would recommend going to hushdenver.com to try and get into the next hush denver event which will be hosted on the roof of the denver art museum.

Now that we have that out of the way, more Sqeegurs to come next week!!!!

HUSH!

Tonight I embark on a food event unlike anything I've ever heard of before. In order to attend I had to sign my email in a dubious little website that was made up of just that... an email submission box. Emails are randomly selected and sent invitations to crazy food events run by some of the world's top chefs who just come to colorado to experiment with their cuisine; an activity so rarely practiced by celebrity chefs since they're already expected to have their craft honed.

I don't know much about tonight other than that it's promised to be a very crazy night, with the chef having been awarded the Food and Wine magazine's "best new chef" last year. That comes in addition to the man who hosts the show; I guy who cooks food 'scientifically' using such irregular cooking tools as beakers and vats of liquid nitrogen. I'll attend this even and report back here once I've embarked.

Sqeegurs 5 - The Land of Things

The land was the most incredible thing Dinosaur had ever laid his eyes on... it was incredible... things. Everywhere. Things. Dinosaur looked over at one thing, and BAM! Some other thing blocked his vision. That thing was also awesome, but not as awesome as that giant ass thing behind him... Basically it was a big freakin' land of things.

It wasn't too long before Dinosaur decided to explore the land; eventually the Major of Things flew out of a giant thing in the sky to greet him. He came to dinosaur because he looked strong.. you see... the land of things was in trouble... they were midst in a war with some things from across the river and their way of life was being challenged since the other things wanted to change their ways of going on leisurely strolls. The other things weren't a big fan of leisurely strolls so they wanted to make them illegal; thus the war for leisurely strolls began. The Major wanted Dinosaur to beat the living crap out of the other things... and save their leisurely stroll loving arses.

Dinosaur looked around, at all the awesome things... he saw things that were new, some that were familiar... Those familiar things though.... reminding him of his past... The wild Nazis that raised him.... the woman... the woman he loved... the one he couldn't save...

He had to help the land of things, if anything to reconcile the problems in his past. Dinosaur took a brave step forward....accidentally stepping on some thing that made all the things instantly light on fire.... roll around on the ground, and explode.

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The tears flew from Dinosaurs eyes... he had to hide them from Squeegurs and Chinese Lady Landlord. They were going to the moon on his new adventure... this time... for The Land of Things, the wild Nazis that raised him, and the woman.... he would not fail....

Squeegurs 4 - Of Nazis and Dinosaurs

Dinosaur came to find out he was a nazi… the woman he ran into that day was a Jewish person…. An enemy of the wild germans who raised him as their own. Every day after that encounter, dinosaur would run by the crawlspace looking for the woman. Eventually the woman lost her fear of Dinosaur... I mean.... he'd been by her crawl-space window every freakin' day for the last 8 weeks, looked her right in the eye and smiled at her every day and walked away.... She finally came out one day to talk to Dinosaur. After that, he'd come by the crawl-space and they'd talk a little bit... finally Dinosaur came to understand why she was hiding, and why his people didn't like her... but it didn't matter... he was a dinosaur after all, and this silly prejudice didn't seem to bother him as much as it did his wild-German brethren.

One day, Speelunkin the Evil German Scientist with Good Intentions wanted to help Dinosaur get back to his time period, so Speelunkin the Evil German Scientist with Good Intentions invented a time machine. Since Speelunkin didn't care much for war, he decided to travel with Dinosaur back in time to study the past with Dinosaur. The time machine was finally built, and Dinosaur went to go say goodbye to the woman in the crawl-space before Speelunkin and him took off into the past. Dinosar went to the crawl-space and to his shock the woman was dead.... shot by the wild Germans that so lovingly raised him... Dinosaur now had nothing.... the people who raised him only took away his one true love... the only thing left was to travel back in time with Speelunkin... the only problem is when they traveled back in time... they weren't sent to the time of the Dinosaurs... they were sent to a land. A special land. The Land of Things.

Upcoming Short Film Alert!

So my first, 'large-scale' short film of sorts is nearing completion. It's entitled, "Descending" and stars some very interested actors who I hope can make this weird little film more interesting. It involved stop-motion which is why the film's been taking so long to produce.

I'll TRY to get a trailer together for the film that I'll put up here eventually... if you're a member of the Colorado Film School there's a small chance it'll be at the student show and even a smaller chance it'll get into the film festivals I'll inevitably submit it to. Regardless, I'm finally introducing the "film" aspect to this blog... instead of hearing me rant on about movies, I'll just rant on about my movies :)